Ok so I didn’t actually mean to start a women’s networking group, it was a complete surprise to me!

Online Community

I was happily running my beautiful online community via Facebook group (now called Affinity Women’s Networking) and the engagement was good but I wanted the ladies to engage more with each other and on a deeper, more meaningful level. Where they demonstrated deep care and investment in each other and championed each other’s businesses. I thought what better way than to get them talking face to face?

So I introduced the free networking sessions six times a month and sure enough the engagement exploded, not only that but people REALLY started connecting, sales were being made and new client relationships blossomed. They started showing up more for themselves and for others because they knew they were in like minded company. So how do you succeed at online networking?

Myths

First things first, let’s address a few myths around networking

• Networking is insincere and manipulative
• Networking is only about getting ahead
• Networking is done when all of the “real work” is done
• Networking is about selling yourself
• Networking is for extroverts

All wrong! It doesn’t have to be any of these things but these are the things that hold so many of us back from showing up for ourselves and growing our businesses through the magic of networking.

Ok so let’s get into how we can start to move through these things and find a way to networking that really works for us and will help you succeed at online networking.

1. Think about what YOU need

We are unique beings and we all need different things so it pays to really think about what you need as an empathetic woman in business. Do you need to avoid the feeling of ‘selling yourself’? Do you prefer 121 conversation? Do you feel more comfortable with online networking or in person? Are you happy to ensure the slight discomfort of new things? Each networking group has its own format so it’s crucial to  find the ones that work in a way that suits your needs and will help you succeed at online networking.

Networking is FANTASTIC for business growth but it’s also great to gain business knowledge and fins support but it can feel ‘sticky’ in the beginning. It is important to find the things that meet your needs but it’s great to find a balance between this and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, just a smidge!

2. Find confidence in your authenticity

Those of us who show up as our most authentic, unguarded selves are often the ones that do the best at networking. Because authenticity is trustworthy and it allows the right people to find the right connection with us. Authenticity also requires a deeper level of self acceptance and a ‘screw it’ kinda attitude which powers up our confidence. And guys, confidence is attractive af!

3. Find the right places to hang out

Are you solely an in person kinda human or do you like more of an online jam? Do you like the speed dating format or something more chilled like a ten minute 121 breakout room? Do you like places that are ‘all business’ or would you rather show up and feel like you’re hanging out with friends? Every single networking group has its own vibe, values, culture and format so find the ones that really suit what you need and feel great to show up at (especially in the beginning when you’re first finding your feet and getting comfortable). WARNING: You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find the right gang.

Change things up a bit every now and then to keep your networks fresh and renewed.

4. Prepare or not

Some people love to prepare well ahead of their sessions by researching other members or getting together a list of potential ice breaker questions, others like to write out their elevator pitches and others would rather just rock and and see what happens.

Again it’s about finding the approach that best works for you but if your nervous then a little preparation can help you feel more in control and therefore more relaxed.

5. Ditch the pitch

Personally I think elevator pitches are the devil, which is why we don’t have them in our sessions but most networking groups do invite you to stand up and shamelessly sell yourself to the room. Now, for us empathetic women and especially for the more introverted among us, this is the literal stuff of nightmares!

“I don’t wanna sell myself to my own reflection in the mirror, let alone a room full of strangers”, I hear you cry!

So I have a couple of pieces of advice about this particularly harrowing part of networking.

a. If you can avoid it, don’t read your elevator pitch out, it will sound lifeless and the only impression it leaves is that you know so little about what you do that you have to write it down. We’ve all heard these speeches right, they almost don’t even sound like words anymore because they are devoid of energy, enthusiasm and personality.

b. You don’t have to get every single piece of relevant information about your business out of your mouth in 60 seconds. This is a brief overview of what you do, who you do it with and exactly the outcome you create for them. It’s a little taster…the real connection happens in the breakout rooms later.

c. You don’t have to sell yourself in your elevator pitch! Wait? What? Isn’t that the whole point of an elevator pitch?

So here’s a crazy idea, what if you didn’t try to sell yourself in your elevator pitch? What if you really briefly said what you do and then told a little story about why you do what you do? Tell your audience about the struggle to faced and how you almost gave up but then you discovered the thing you know now, the thing you now help your clients with? Would that leave more of a lasting impression? What if you just said “Hi I’m Lauren, I’m a Brand photographer and I was once attacked by an elephant, like picked up and thrown around kinda attacked” and then sat down. People will definitely remember that and may just be intrigued enough to come ask you about it afterwards! Don’t feel like you have to follow the ‘Rules’ to succeed at online networking.

6. The magic is in the follow up

My biggest, juiciest piece of advice is to not follow up with the people you think you’ll get business from, or even those with overlapping industries or the ones that you think might benefit you in some way. At least not if that is the only reason. I always recommend following up with the people you’ve felt a genuine soul connection with. The ones who share your sense of humour, energy and personality traits, the ones you have things in common with.

Why? Because when you fill your community with like minded people, those who share your values and those who genuinely love who you are, what you do and how you do it, that’s when you build your own sales team. A sales team that is so evangelical about believing in you that they then refer all their friends, family and peers to you because they couldn’t have them use anyone else. The key to successful networking is not about selling to the person in front of you, it’s about genuinely connecting with that person so they then, sincerely, sell you to their entire network. How great would that feel?

7. Find networking groups that have a strong online community so you can easily continue to build your relationships

Not all networking groups have online communities attached but I find that in my Facebook Group our members continue to chat, support and champion each other long after the sessions where the met. That continued interaction allows them to build deeper know like and trust and ultimately leads to more client connections and more sales.

8. Understand that networking can be both strategic and human at the same time

A lot of us have resistance to networking in the beginning but it’s important to know that it isn’t manipulative, if you’re not manipulative. It’s not pushy, if you’re not pushy. It’s not just about selling, if you’re not just about selling. And when you find the right tribe, you’ll discover that you can just show up as your YOU-est you and make genuine connections with other business owners who also aren’t interested in the hard sell.

9. Learn to network as an introvert

Networking is not just for extroverts. You don’t have to be uber confident because, firstly, it’s about just showing up and finding your people and, secondly, your confidence grows the more you do it. So don’t discount it before even trying it because you don’t think it’s for you. This brings us back to finding the right places, you may have to persevere with a little discomfort before you find your tribe, the place where you feel most at home.

10. Show up to serve instead of sell

Another top tip for surviving networking as an introvert is to reframe the objective. Instead of showing up to sell your business why not show up to find ways to help the people you meet, hold space for them, ask them what they’re working on right now and if there’s anything you can help with, share your top social media tips, join their FB group and show your support that way. It feels so much better for us empathetic types to take the limelight off us and instead place on those we can help.

The real key to succeeding at online networking is to understand that you are a unique individual and being open to trying new things until you find the right fit is what’s key.

Check out Affinity Networking here

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