I know making the claim that something is life-changing is bold, but it is absolutely true in case, having strong boundaries is life changing!

 

So many of my clients have had life-changing moments from working with me on their boundaries, that I say it with complete confidence. Not only that, but they completely changed my life too, not just my business, but my personal relationships and my relationship with myself.

 

Boundaries can be tough at the beginning

Boundaries can feel difficult to start with, it can feel overwhelming, or give you a fear of judgement from others. That is all completely normal and part of the process for many. It’s not because you don’t believe in yourself, or you aren’t confident enough, it’s because it’s a learnt behaviour, particularly for women. Many women have been brought up to put everyone else first, to take care of others, to be people pleasers, or perfectionists and our needs either come last or don’t come into it at all.

 

I’ve always taken care of others

I know I was brought up with the view to take care of other people, particularly my parents as they were both disabled, so it was my job to take care of them, but soon that became part of my identity and almost every job and career choice that has followed, has been in some capacity, to take care of others. My previous careers have been Personal Assistant, Office Manager, Wedding Planner, and Regional Fundraising Manager for a National Children’s Charity, all of these have a huge responsibility to serve others. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved previous careers and there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of others, it’s when you put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, that I believe it becomes a problem.

 

You can’t take care of others, without taking care of yourself

We’ve all heard the saying that you can’t take care of others without taking care of yourself, and this is absolutely 100% true. If you don’t prioritise your needs and fill your cup, eventually you will run out of steam, you will feel resentment and creating the life that you have dreamed of, won’t become a reality. Being selfish, putting yourself first isn’t a bad thing when done in the right way. Let me explain.

 

Sophie’s story

Last year I worked with a wonderful client, let’s call her Sophie. Now Sophie had been running her business for almost 5 years, but she found herself working with some toxic clients, ones that took advantage of her good nature and not only did it affect her happiness, but it also limited her income potential. Sophie had an exchange of services agreement with a client that no longer worked for her and the client was getting way more out of it than she was. Essentially she was doing lots of work for free, but also the client was expecting unrealistic deadlines, wanting her to drop everything for a call when it served her and Sophie was starting to become resentful. We worked together for several months on my boundaries mentoring Programme and within a couple of months, Sophie had set some boundaries around her work, increased her prices, reduced her working hours, rejigged her availability and project turn around time and finally said to her toxic client, that moving forward she had to pay for her services and stick to realistic deadlines and turn around times.

 

Fear of judgement

Sophie also had always wanted to work 4 days a week instead of 5, but she had a fear of judgement and limiting beliefs holding her back. She was worried people would think she was lazy, and she was concerned she would lose clients due to not being available, but do you know what? She stopped working Fridays and none of the bad things happened. She actually felt happier, it reduced her overwhelm and her business has continued to grow because she is smarter with her time and energy. Sophie has gone from strength to strength since we worked together and even now she checks in and updates me on new boundaries she has put in place and how they have really changed her life.

 

Boundaries can give you time

Having boundaries around how you spend your time can be completely life-changing. For instance, I generally only have zooms or calls on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This is to protect my energy and not have to feel ‘switched on’ every day. It stops me from getting interrupted when working on client projects and means, if I want a day to work in bed in my comfies with no make-up and messy hair, then I can absolutely do that. By protecting my time, it ripples into protecting my energy, especially as I’m an empath, I really have to protect my energy and who I use it with. It means from a business perspective I can be more productive, have time for creative freedom, be able to work on my self-development and business development and overall, it makes me happy and works towards creating the life I have always wanted.

 

Boundaries encourage self-care

I also believe that boundaries can help you take care of yourself better and makes you a much better communicator, which is great for personal and professional relationships. What I mean by this is, if you are a person who has strong boundaries you are better at communicating your needs, more confident in saying no, able to express your feelings more openly and you are more in tune with yourself, your body and mind and therefore less likely to reach overwhelm or burnout.

 

It’s beautiful

You see it all comes together in such a beautiful and magical way! Boundaries help you work towards your business goals, give you time and space to actually do the work, but also protects your energy and helps you be more in tune with yourself, which creates more balance, more joy, more spaciousness and ripples into those around you.

 

Boundaries Mentoring

Every single person can benefit from having boundaries and I can 100% help you get there. I have space for 2 new Boundaries clients this month and I even have a special offer on my 4 week intensive programme, that if you book and pay by the end of May, you get it for £777, instead of £999. Want to get started? Drop me an email or book a discovery call in my diary here.

Want to learn more about my own personal boundaries journey, read my blog on why boundaries weren’t always easy for me here.