I’m sorry I’ve been absent for a while and not written or published a blog in a couple of months, I normally write several in one go and post once a month on a regular basis, but recently the flow, the creative energy and the inspiration has just been lacking

Now for me this is a bit odd, I’m a naturally creative person whether that’s writing, painting, gardening, designing, sticking glitter on stuff, I just love creating, but this year, particularly the last few months have been tough for me.

Now we all know that 2020 has been an absolute corker of a year and I don’t mean in a good way, it’s been…….well a bit shit!

I have two sides of my personality (and no babes I don’t have a split personality disorder….well at least I don’t think so), but one half of me loves to hunker down in my comfies, enjoys my own company and my kitties, gets on with my work and will quite happily hibernate in my home office for days or weeks on end and not see anyone. Then there is the other side of me, the side that is a complete social butterfly, loves the company of others, will happily be in a room of strangers and walk up to someone and start a conversation and genuinely likes people and enjoys the company of others. Now it’s this side of me that has been a bit sad this year, it’s this part that has felt lonely, missed my friends, my colleagues, missed the freedoms that I have become accustomed to and as a consequence has suffered.

I am a positive, optimistic, don’t worry about the glass being half full because it’s refillable type person, but this year has challenged me, my optimism, my love of life and sparkly unicorn sunny disposition. I haven’t openly said this outload to anyone but my husband, but I have MASSIVELY struggled this year, I’ve suffered depression (which I haven’t really battled with in over a decade), I have sought help from the doctors, had hypnotherapy sessions, begged my coach for help and leant on friends more than normal (it’s normally the other way around). This is all new to me, I am normally the strong one, the one people turn to, the rock people lean on, the thick skinned boss babe who is afraid of nothing and do you know what, I like that! I love that people respect and trust me enough for me to be that support for them, after all that’s why I do what I do, but 2020 has just been a massive pile of crap!

I have had massive lows and a few highs, but do you know what I’m on my way back! Yes this year has been a huge financial strain (my business really suffered), emotionally draining with things like my mum having a heart attack in March and my father in law being diagnosed with leukemia shortly after and not being able to see my step son in person for 4 months during lockdown number 1, I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and been quite poorly, however I appreciate it could have been so much worse, people have lost loved ones, families haven’t been able to see each other, tens of thousands of people have lost jobs, homes and been through some stressful shit, so I appreciate the things I have got and I am grateful for them.

I am proud to say that during this shit show, none of my customers have suffered. I have still ensured that they have been taken care one way or another.

But do you know what you lovely lot? I am on my way back! I am starting to feel like me again, starting to get back to my usual self and after spending time working on healing and looking after myself, I think I’m ready for 2021 and whatever it may bring. Bring it on, I’m ready for you baby!