The first time I heard the verb “catastrophize” I was watching a therapist’s YouTube video, and I felt seen. Here was finally a word that perfectly described what I’d been putting myself through for so many years. Imagining the worst in nearly every single situation was something I was so talented at… And it was my most shameful talent, I was catastrophizing and not enjoying life!
Since I was 12, I knew I struggled with anxiety. I put a name to the feeling, went to counseling, was on medication for several years. Sure, I had made progress over the years, but when I heard “catastrophize” something clicked. And I knew I needed to make some changes. Frankly, I was tired of overthinking everything. I was tired of beating myself up for it, too. That may have been the worst part: feeling different and alone.
Why can’t I just think like a normal person? Why can’t I work on this project without making myself miserable? Why can’t I schedule a meeting without having a panic attack? If you relate to any of this, I know how difficult and isolating it can be to wrestle with these thoughts. Just know you’re not alone, and that it can get better!
Okay okay, time to get to the good part. I’m so happy to say that I’ve discovered several things that have really helped me. Honestly, life is too precious and short to be miserable all the time. Especially when there are ways to make it better! Here are three things that helped me stop catastrophizing and start enjoying my life. I hope they will help you, too!
Mindset Shift
I’ve learned that the first step to changing anything in your life is to change your mindset. So that’s exactly what I started with. It all goes back to how you think about things. Remember when I said I was watching a therapist’s YouTube video? Turns out, there’s a lot of useful information to gain through videos online! One of my favorite people to watch is Emma McAdam, a licensed therapist who posts informational videos on her channel, Therapy in a Nutshell.
I also want to add that there are so many benefits to speaking directly with a professional. I highly recommend seeing a therapist, even if you think your problems aren’t “big enough”. Truly anyone can benefit from speaking to a licensed therapist. But sometimes it can be nice to learn from informational videos like the ones I mentioned above. Always do what’s best for you.
Back to the mindset shifting: there are so many examples I could give. The main thing here is to start noticing patterns in your thinking. How do you respond to certain situations? What kinds of things trigger anxiety or spiralling negative thoughts? What are actionable things you can start doing to make a different outcome?
Another amazing resource I want to share is Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo is an American entrepreneur, thought leader, author, and overall inspiring human. In her book, she gives so much useful information about how to have a growth mindset. Her motto is “everything is figureoutable” because in any given situation, there is always something you can do or figure out. Instead of letting doubt, fear, or worry get in the way, if you can remind yourself that everything is figureoutable, you can accomplish so much! So much more than your negative thoughts let you think you can.
There is so much more packed into Forleo’s book, so I believe it’s a must-read. Although a lot of the content is aimed at entrepreneurs, it really applies to anyone who isn’t sure what they want to do, doesn’t like their job, or has a dream they want to fulfil. I’ll end this point with a quote from the book: “Fear is not the enemy. Waiting to stop feeling afraid is.” I’ll leave that there.
Prioritizing Things That Make Me Happy
Another thing I’ve learned is that life is only as fun as you make it! I can either get up in the morning, go to my desk, sit there and be miserable all day, or I can get up in the morning and decide to balance work with things I enjoy. I’m a freelance copywriter and I love my work. I truly do. But I’m human so of course I have days where I’m unmotivated and just not feeling it. This is when it’s extra important to remember all the little details that bring me happiness.
For me, that looks like making a special morning coffee, writing down three things I’m grateful for, and praying, all before I start work. Then in the afternoon, I’ll go for a walk – especially if I need to clear my head or if I’m feeling unmotivated. I’ve also discovered pilates, so that’s been a fun activity to look forward to. I make sure to take plenty of short breaks to play with my cat (which I probably enjoy more than she does… #catmomlife). I love journaling throughout the day. Even just stopping to water and admire my houseplants. It doesn’t have to be anything big!
Granted, I work from home. It’s much easier to implement these things in your day if you’re at home all day. But it’s definitely not impossible to add things you enjoy if you go into the office! You just have to make it work for you. That could be treating yourself to a coffee or lunch on your break, stopping by the park to enjoy a walk on your way home, or getting up a little earlier in the morning to savor your coffee and journal before you head to the office. If you don’t already, I highly recommend journaling. It’s a cathartic way to release and process your thoughts.
There are truly so many things you can add to your day that boost your overall mood. It’s a very personal thing, so dig deep and think about what gives you joy. Then prioritize as many of those things throughout your day as possible! Sometimes you just have to romanticize the little things in life.
Learning to Navigate the Ups and Downs
This third point is so essential to this whole process: remembering that there will be ups and downs! That’s life. Progress isn’t linear. I know I haven’t learned everything there is to know about, well, anything really. And I definitely can’t say that I’m 100% better and never catastrophize or worry anymore. That wouldn’t be reality.
What I can say is that I feel so happy and proud of the work I’m doing and the progress I’m making. I’m actually putting in the effort to enjoy life, not just live it. I’ve taken the first few steps of the big grand staircase of self-improvement. And I want to keep going! I’m working to break unhealthy habits every day.
Recently I hesitated to take on a new project. I wasn’t sure what it would involve and it would have been so easy to turn it down. Like so convenient to stay in my comfort zone. That hesitation lasted approximately five seconds before I realized that I would regret not jumping on the opportunity. And guess what. It turned out so well and I was so proud of myself. That’s what this journey looks like. Small steps that pay off in the end.
Something I didn’t expect is that the thrill of improving is addictive! And it reaches far beyond yourself. Not only do I want to keep working on myself and my career, but I want to help others do the same. So that’s why I wrote this for you, in hopes that it sparks that little flame within you. The one that burns a little and lets you know it’s time to invest in yourself and your happiness. Go with it and know that you can live a life you enjoy!
Helpful Resources
Therapy in a Nutshell: Catastrophizing and How to Stop Expecting the Worst
Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo
Marie Forleo: 3 Ways to Have More Fun, Be Spontaneous, and Enjoy Your Life Again
Bio
Ashlyn Carmichael is a freelance food and beverage copywriter based in Dallas, Texas, USA. She helps businesses in the industry improve visibility to their target audience through blog writing, web copy, SEO improvement, and social media services. For more information, visit www.ashlyncarmichael.com
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